How to show (without telling) - Method 2: Dialogue coupled with background actions and body language
Read the following excerpt from Chapter 5, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald:
The day agreed upon was pouring rain. At eleven o'clock a man in a raincoat, dragging a lawn-mower, tapped at my front door and said that Mr. Gatsby had sent him over to cut my grass. This reminded me that I had forgotten to tell my Finn to come back, so I drove into West Egg Village to search for her among soggy, whitewashed alleys and to buy some cups and lemons and flowers.
The flowers were unnecessary, for at two o'clock a greenhouse arrived from Gatsby's, with innumerable receptacles to contain it. An hour later the front door opened nervously, and Gatsby, in a white flannel suit, silver shirt, and gold-colored tie, hurried in. He was pale, and there were dark signs of sleeplessness beneath his eyes.
"Is everything all right?" he asked immediately.
"The grass looks fine, if that's what you mean."
"What grass?" he inquired blankly. "Oh, the grass in the yard." He looked out the window at it, but, judging from his expression, I don't believe he saw a thing.
"Looks very good," he remarked vaguely. "One of the papers said they thought the rain would stop about four. I think it was 'The Journal.' Have you got everything you need in the shape of - of tea?"
I took him into the pantry, where he looked a little reproachfully at the Finn. Together we scrutinized the twelve lemon cakes from the delicatessen shop.
"Will they do?" I asked.
"Of course, of course! They're fine!" and he added hollowly, "...old sport."
The rain cooled about half-past three to a damp mist, through which occasional thin drops swam like dew. Gatsby looked with vacant eyes through a copy of Clay's "Economics," starting at the Finnish tread that shook the kitchen floor, and peering toward the bleared windows from time to time as if a series of invisible but alarming happenings were taking place outside. Finally he got up and informed me, in an uncertain voice, that he was going home.
"Why's that?"
"Nobody's coming to tea. It's too late!" He looked at his watch as if there was some pressing demand on his time elsewhere. "I can't wait all day."
"Don't be silly; it's just two minutes to four."
He sat down miserably, as if I had pushed him, and simultaneously there was the sound of a motor turning into my lane. We both jumped up, and, a little harrowed myself, I went out into the yard.
Fitzgerald's dialogue is as strong as Hemingway's, but his writing has more description. I selected this sample for the added background actions and body language. These details flesh out the dialogue and add subtext to the conversation.
The first two paragraphs set the stage and give us an impression of the rainy day and the circumstances. When Gatsby arrives, we get his physical and mental state: he is pale and shows signs of sleeplessness.
With the opening lines of dialogue, we discover how the two men are not on the same line of thought, even though the author never tells us this overtly. Not only is Gatsby impatient, but he doesn't easily focus on the conversation. Nick observes the blank expression, how Gatsby looks out the window without seeing. Gatsby, in turn, tries to reassure Nick even though he seems dissatisfied with the tea arrangements. Notice how the characters interact with the props of the scene: the lemon cakes, the copy of Clay's Economics, the windows, the watch. Each one reveals something about the character and the situation. They aren't just there for decoration.
This scene could have been a non-event, but Fitzgerald successfully builds the tension and suspense. As readers, we share in Gatsby's impatience and anxiety, wondering what will happen when Daisy makes her appearance. Fitzgerald's good showing carries us into the story.